I must confess now .. After a really long self-assessment, I concluded that I am hypocrite and a happy one at that .. and I can safely say, having reached this conclusion that .. I am at peace now. Wasn't easy to accept! But, who to lie about this .. You cannot possibly lie to yourself after your own mind has reached a conclusion, can you?
Okay, this is not about hypocrisy as a phenomenon or its honest self-assessment as a virtue. This is about the philosophies that we so espouse or tend to 'live by' or 'think that' we live by or are conditioned from the childhood to live by and accept as truth ... This is about religion and that great human idea of God Almighty!
Before anyone will try and judge that statement, I want to say firmly that I am NOT an atheist. But, my theism seeks to bind itself to reason. No matter how much I think, or force myself to bind to the various human rituals, my mind asks the question of 'Why'. My theism is different from people around me who can be fairly decsribed as 'paapbhiru' in Marathi (noble men and women afraid to commit sins and fearful of wrath of God). My principle objection is to the thousands of myriad thoughtless rituals we follow that have been spawned over the previous few millennias. Those rituals which have now become an aberration of the previous thought; and the original significance and reason behind that idea/ritual has been lost.
Take for example one ritual/practise pointed out by a very respected Indian spiritual guru, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev. He once said that some stupid practises we carry today are comical. In old ages when a cat passed your path you would retrace your steps back and not go ahead. This was essentially a smart manouvre for the people on the move in ancient times - which most yogis and learned were - and one which guaranteed survival in the abundant forest areas of those times. We all know even today every species in the cat families covers its tracts by stopping and seeing if its being followed. It is an animal and bound to attack if it sees someone is following in its track and again, fighting for its own survival. So, if in ancient times you see a cat passing through your tracts, you re-trace your steps and don't go ahead. Wait for the cat to pass completely and then think of going ahead. What is the use of following such a trick in today's cities? But, we do!
Now, comes the hypocrite moment. Even though I abhor such stupid rituals, I want that I follow all the religious practises in 'to-to' and as mentioned by the gurujis and scriptures. I want that if we do something in terms of religion, let's do it 'properly'. I don't end up questioning the significance or the 'whys' of it. Much of that is due to ignorance and nothing much else, I agree. But, that is a hypocrisy I cannot shrug off as that will have to lead to an extensive study and I am probably too lazy for it. So, I let myself be a hypocrite. And then, there is an added lucre of having all the extended family gather, have great food and discussions .. sort of, I buy my peace with it.
I think (maybe due to my grounding in sciences) that everything is 'science'. But, the science of today also will have to have an open mind and ask why all religions think of God descending from skies (and not from lakes, ponds, oceans and mountains!), for instance. It will have to address the mystery of similarity of most religious philosophies at some basic level. Why do we pray above and not below? These are some of the questions that science has conveniently looked away from and termed them 'mythologies' conveniently.
But, having said this, I still agree to follow a few rituals enthusiastically and love them too. Ganeshotsav is one of them. Diwali is another. Invariably, food is too good a lucre to give these food fests up ;) and I believe I won't ever give them up. It also helps me stop and breathe and appreciate all that I have and be thankful to the 'God' ..
As I said, I am not an atheist. I believe in existence of God. But, that God is not necessarily a Lambodar or even a Vishnu. I am at ease with the Advaita philosophy and accept non-duality of God or that God is formless. But, more than what any of the world's religious philosophy can tell me about God, I believe that the laws of physics which guide the movement of even planetary and other such bodies represents to me the existence of God. For, I 'feel' that there is a 'controlling force' that guides all these things. I am also ready to accept that all we see is 'Maya'. I accept this 'controlling force' which causes the 'Maya' as God.
So, I do not want to follow the religion as it is today. I love some rituals which bring family together and makes us appreciate the gifts of life. I love the food. I won't give any of those rituals up and I will do everything that is asked of me in the way of my religion and try and follow all the rituals to the 'T'.
I now accept that I, a hypocrite (now out of the closet) ... is a happy man for being one!
