We the Bharatvarsha ..

The seclusion that is brought on by living in a foreign land where you do not know the language and culture so well and in which you cannot easily assimilate into so easily, has its own set of advantages for the discerning and the studious. I guess that is why great writers go to some secluded resorts and such places where they can think and write in peace. A great idea which I didn't appreciate till I did not leave the shores of my beloved Bharat.

Anyways, that is not the point of my writing. I was reading this post by Pritish Nandy in the Times of India. Critical as I am about the Times of India becoming a page three newspaper (just look at its website! hardly a piece of sensible journalism or a studious opinion), I still read a few columnists because they still possess the power of shaping opinions. Pritish Nandy though not one of them, does sometimes write very sensible blogs making some very obvious yet unspoken social comments.

In that respect, his present blog re-opened in my mind an important thought that has had me disturbed for quite some time. Why is there a need for India/Bharat to be one country governed by Delhi. I am saying this not least because I am growing concerned by high handed behaviour of our north-heavy diplomacy but more because, I genuinely feel that in last few years (and more so during the times of the Congress governments), it is almost as if any and every policy (even at state levels) is being approved/sanctioned/checked/done-something-to-it by Delhi! I am wary personally of the capital of India being a stone's throw away from India's two borders as it is, but I am also not happy that it represents the capital of the worst of rulers of this pious land - the Mughals.

And I do agree to the point that Pritish Nandy makes in his blog that we are crushing the various Bharats we have in our midst. I am yet not so knowledgeable to call myself an Indian scholar. But, the seclusion I talked about when I left Bharat afforded me some time to at least try to garner some information about the various people that we are! What really do we mean bythe word 'diversity' and why is it important that we preserve it in its entirety!

Just sample this. I belong to Maharashtra and to Thane district to be precise. The language spoken in my state  is called Marathi. It is the 4th largest spoken language in India and 15th most spoken language in the world. Importantly, it is spoken majorly in as far away countries like Mauritius and Israel (where they speak Judeo Marathi) not to mention all those Marathi speaking emigrants in bigger and developed nations like the US, Germany, UK and others.

Importantly, Marathi is a descendent of the Maharashtri Prakrti which in turn is directly descended from the Vedic Sanskrit! The Yadav dynasty of Devgiri of the 12th century adopted Marathi as their official language and made it grow in to the major cultural language of the time. And last, but not the least, it has 42 intelligibly different dialects! That is WHOA-inducing statistic ... isn't it? How many Maharashtrians know this? I didn't till I googled it. Is Marathi (especially its dialects) not getting crushed under the written/spoken Marathi which due to heavy handed administrative methods of a class/caste rulers is crushing a lot of dialects or rendering them unimportant/irrelevant? I think its happening. I do not know if I have ever heard Varhadi/Vidarbhi dialect in my life. Nor, is it important in any social media it seems, as I cannot recollect any ad/movie making use of it ... now I maybe wrong. I recently heard there is a film coming up in Varhadi language which I think is a little too late as this should have happened long, long time ago! After all, Maharashtrians started the Indian film industry and first language in which films were made was Marathi!

If Marathi and its various dialects and culture is facing such erosion, we cannot even start to think what of all those various tribal cultures and languages in all of India ..

I think time has come when we should think about becoming a huge but loosely-held confederacy of the central government in Delhi. Meaning, almost like the UK, each state can represent a single country and its central functions be centralised in Delhi. Why should only Jammu and Kashmir talk about autonomy. It is important that if we want to grow our diversity and let it flourish, we should be able to give representation in policy to all the types of people and allow all the various cultures to come up and be respected instead of steamrolling or bulldozing them with a strong central government with its policies of minority-appeasement. Culture is never religion-specific, especially in India. Just take for example, the Christians in India wear sarees in marriage! My Christian friends did not kiss the bride ... its just not their culture. So, making out minority in religion and extending benefits is something that is done by politicians. The effort should be on promoting the single culture like the Maharashtra Dharma concept! After all Maharashtra Dharma is something that is defined by a Marathi way of living - which derives a lot from Hindu religious ways - and yet it is not religion-specific...

If we don't start talking and doing this, I believe like the Indian restaurants outside India catering only Punjabi food as Indian, we will end up having just one culture across our lands. One way it is good that it will develop a single identity of an Indian. That is something we have lacked all along in history. We have never had a single definition of what it means to be a Bhartiya, but then, how good is it if we, like the barbarian Muslim rulers of India, become barbaric about our various cultures and diversities? How Bhartiya will we be in that case? Probably time has come, that we form our sub-national identities as our real identities and retain the Bhartiya identities for only such endeavours as border protection, international relations and sports. Rest should be all 'local' ... That way, we will achieve the best of both worlds. Jai Hind :)

Autoimmune disorder of writing ..

Writing can sometimes be afflicted by self doubts. Especially, it is true when you think 'too much' about the efficacy of your thought process, its ethical nature, its being based in rationality or otherwise. This self-doubt is almost akin to the autoimmune disorder diseases in which the body's immune system becomes so overactive that it starts attacking its own cells..

I have first hand experience of this. Not on one, but many occasions. I started writing a blog to give vent to my thoughts. It could also serve to document my thought process at various stages in life to indicate how I have evolved - although, it was never a thought when I started but was realised by my slow thinking a little later. It was my outlet to some things which I want to think aloud. But, as fearless and unaplogetic as I would love my writing to be, of late, I found myself scrapping not one not two, but almost five to seven variuos drafts of my writing many times beset by doubts that I am not thinking straight or that the thought process in this particular essay is not coherent..

Now, that I am looking back at these things, I feel like a stupid. I never wanted to be politically correct. I never wanted to be socially correct either when I am writing my thoughts. Then, why in the world should I worry if something is coming out right or something is not looking 'that right' ....

Conditioning of mind to make all things in your work look 'professional' and 'right' is something that wipes away our originality making us all assembly line thinkers. Assembly line is great for a standard product, for an army or a cult. But, it is a bad production process for state of the art excellence. That requires job work. And hence, you should be ready to keep working non stop producing scrap till you descend or stumble upon excellent product.

One should write and write fearlessly and uninterrupted. Because, a thought when written uninterrupted, maybe a better thought in quality than when it is edited by a conditioned mind which is mindful of who will not feel this right and how this is not correct and that is how something should be represented..

The whole purpose of using विवेक in thoughts is to not let your mind experience the raw feelings, but to arrest the feelings and bind them in various conditionings of culture, ethics and such. Which is not bad. But, if we do not experience the raw emotions first completely, the raw thoughts as they actually appear on your mind spontaneously; how will we be able to make ourselves realise that this is what 'I' think! That this particular is my thinking and thought process and that this is what makes me different form the next human being breathing the same air as me..

I think hence I am said Descartes. But, I believe I must think unconditionally for me to realise who I really am. Otherwise, like I experienced recently, I run the risk of the writer's autoimmune disorder ... and that only builds frustration to a thinking mind and never gives you any satisfaction...

Fearlessness...

Witnessed the recent pre-quarters of FIFA World Cup between England and Germany. Was thrilled by the manner of German victory. If one word characterised their performance, then it was fearless!

If there is something magnetic about the youth, then it is the willingness to be bold, fearlessness, freedom from dogmas and readiness to try things without worrying about failures. There is a certain certainty about being able to bounce back from defeats and reverses and conviction in one's ability to fight it out in a determined way. Exactly the opposite was England's attitude - both in attack and defense - utter dubiousness and complete lack of conviction. It was almost apparent that they were fearful of defeat!

Now, I may be a bit biased about Germany, more so because they came into this fixture as underdogs. But, I know in my heart that I am not far from truth in the above conclusion.

But, that is just an example of what fearlessness can bring to an individual and a team. In cricket, it is said that as one ages, one becomes a better batsman as he understands what he can/cannot do. I beg to differ. I think more than anything, one becomes an average player as one ages since he doesn't want to try harder! The hunger has already given way to 'adjustment' with the 'as is' situation - forced out of conviction that one cannot transcend what one has perceived to be personal limitation in terms of skill and also the fact that it might be too late to learn and try newer things. So, I believe that one becomes a better survivor and economiser. But, not necessarily a better batsman.

Similarly, in life, one becomes a better manager of his/her own destiny and living conditions. But, not necessarily a better human being. We all (or most of us!) are guilty of weaving a comfort zone around us. A sort of cocoon of limitations beyond which we hardly have the courage to venture. We will venture and test the air outside the cocoon only when we are forced by some calamity or personal problem. And even that effort will be just enough to regain the comfort of another cocoon and immediately, we are ready to abandon the few courageous breaths in fresh and free air.

It takes courage to not use the beaten path and to go and walk in tall wild grass right next to the pathway taken by millions and billions before you. You are more capable of it when you are young and have not yet found your heart's calling.

How about you have a heart's calling and you keep yourself alive to possibilities outside that calling. You love your cocoon, but there are other cocoons you want to experiment too and experience! You will have to cross  the threshold of your comfort in your own cocoon. You will have to learn to become fearless, and fly to weave a new one.

What that means in real life is, we should not be content with what we have learnt and learn more. That is what life is all about. That is what our scriptures tell us: go ahead and find the truth for yourself! The Vedas tell us this. They give us fundamentals and exhort us to be courageous and explore. Every time we stop at something, we must make sure that this pause is only temporary.

Every time we find a cocoon, the threshold to climb out of the comfort offered by it will be higher than the previous one and it will progressively only get higher. Just like in a computer game! Once you cross a level, the next levels are going to be progressively tougher. What carries you through those levels is your conviction in your own ability to break those thresholds. And this conviction probably comes from our fearlessness towards the game and its challenges. But, it also comes from the known fact that not much is at stake here.

Also in life, the progressive thresholds will always get tougher. But, it is important that we develop the conviction within ourselves to venture out of our cocoon and breathe fresher air every time we feel comfortable. It is imperative that we regenerate our will to learn more and know more. That is the essence of youth, the essence of life and indeed the essence of the great Vedas which exhort us to become better human beings. What is it then that will help us become fearless and bring conviction to each endeavour of ours?... That probably is the true holy grail ...

Better development?

Okay for some more serious ramblings ... the readers may switch off when dozed!

I was watching the Discovery channel's wonderful documentary about the lost ancient temples of India and they tried to derive the methods that Raja Raja and his people would have employed to get those huge 40 ton granite blocks to the Thanjavur temple top.

Obviously they employed the elephants they said. And apparently they successfully experimented using the logs of wood and the elephants did indeed push those experimental 25 tons of granite blocks! Also with ease claimed the voice-over.

Now, I must say here, that if there is any one animal on this planet I absolutely love, then it has to be the elephant. Nothing is more intelligent and graceful a creature outside the human race as the elephant. To top its intelligence, the inherent compassion in the animal and its social nature in general endears it to me. When in the company of an elephant, the tamer creatures do not fear for their life as even lions and tigers are supposedly not ready to attack tamer species in the presence of an elephant. Such is the patriarchal nature of this huge body of compassion. In India and in Maharashtra in particular, this particular species is extra adored as the elephant headed God, Lord Ganesh.

So, naturally, it pained me to see those elephants rudely chained across their bodies and made to pull and push those heavy granites using their teeth to pull the heavy ropes tied to the block. It made me sick to the intestines. Try putting a rope in your mouths and pull something, I wanted to blurt out. The pain in using the heads to push that block was visible clearly in the eyes of the elephants. It was cruel to do that to another living being and for what? To re-establish how it was done 10 centuries back!!!! For what?

I am all for the research and unearthing the truth. But, not in this way. The research has to be first done of the scriptures and talking to locals who have preserved all this knowledge in their local folklore. And it's impressively wonderfully preserved in the local Tamil folklore, if only the discerning care to talk to the people who live there!

Come to think of it, we are harming the environment today with our polluted development. Yes, it is bad. But, we are at least directly not harming many species the way we did in the past. Is this not a better development? Probably. But, I am a little sceptical of this statement too. Come to think of it, we have abdicated our responsibility to maintaining the balance of nature to the sheer human greed. Probably we do not have much use for other animals any more and hence, we do not care for their survival.

But, history teaches us again and again - even from the times of Ramayan and Mahabharat - that, the victor has to take upon the burden of the vanquished in a war - look no further than Iraq and Afghanistan! If one doesn't want to do that, he should provide for the protection of those entities which are not as powerful as oneself. Also, a very important factor we forget in not protecting those species and their habitats is that we are endangering our own survival. We are still a part of the food chain after all!! We have a responsibility towards those species which have no control on their destinies thanks to the greed of humans.

So, this is a comparatively (and probably, qualitatively too!) better development today we are having without directly using the species like elephants and horses... But, it is time, we take up the mantle of being protector and stop encroaching wildlife spaces and habitats and disturbing and making a hell out of the wonderfully wild life that these species are having. We should be 'man' enough and say thank you to them and show them gratitude for their help through out those important millennia of discoveries and inventions without which today's world would have been an improbability. Remember that today's horsepower came from the measuring of forces based on horse's abilities!

It is high time that we stop this tinkering with our own survival at once... otherwise, tomorrow may never come ...

Perspectives

Riding back from scenic Waterloo with Alan after a well earned cricket victory in a friendly match, we were making small talk about Alan's home town, Melbourne, my home town Mumbai, Europe and living here and how it contrasted with situation back home...

Suddenly Alan pouted something that made me sit up and look at him with my mouth wide open as I never expected him to say that! To quote him, The first thing that struck me after coming here in Europe was just how many people there are here! Everywhere you go, there are people ...

I recollected my reaction when I had landed here in Europe for the first time and it went something like this..Just how much space these guys have here in Europe! How well-spaced are the structures here. The sky looks so big!! So few people .... lovely open greens!

Now that you know our reactions when we landed in Europe, you can see how same place can evoke absolutely contrasting reactions/images in people's minds. What it tells you is how differing people's backgrounds are. How differently people live in this world!

Just to put these contradictions in perspective, sample these statistics. I have been born and brought up in a distant suburb of Mumbai. The megapolis (considering its entire urban agglomeration) has roughly 20 million people living in it. My small suburb has a population of roughly 1.2 million which is almost equivalent to the total people living in entire Brussels! Brussels has a population density of 6,697 people per sq.km while my small suburb in Mumbai has a rough population density of 8,700 people per sq. km. Now, lastly, and hold your breath for this, entire Australia has a population of 22 million - which is roughly equal to population of urban agglomeration of Mumbai!!!!

After these last bit of statistics, you can imagine how different and how vastly sparse was the land that Alan was coming from and how densely populated the land that I was coming from ...Come to think of it, because one grows and spends formative years in such vastly different conditions, one develops one's approach, attitude, survivalistic skills and living ideas and values in sync with his/her surroundings.

I believe Indians have roughly the same amount of opportunity available for its populace as entire Europe has for its populace. But, for a population that is roughly 62% more than entire Europe. What that does to human mind and how abominable our existence becomes especially in view of how meagre our resources are in view of our huge population. We have learned to maximise our meagre resources. We have that peculiar survivalistic gene handed down for generations now. But, what that has done is put in our minds a view that there is a vulgar display of wealth by those well-off. We think if someone owns a farm land outside the city or has a farm house and such stuff or owns a Mercedes, that's flaunting of wealth and mostly termed vulgar. And more so because we always point out how many people are living below poverty line and how they don't have food to eat and such 'important' facts.

But, the same Mercedes is fairly common here in Europe and the farm house is a generally accepted way of living a normal conservative life. People have nice gardens in their homes. This is a luxury in India. People in Europe don't spend 3 hours one way to work! And now scale this to Australia. Such abundant resources and opportunities and so less people.

These wonderfully diverse conditions bring people to different responses for same situations. I see Europeans struggling in this economic climate at work. So less money to pull this off they think. They see gloom. But, people from Eastern Europe, India and China and importantly the employees from these backgrounds see opportunities. They are putting up ideas which don't often make sense to European colleagues who have the habit of working with ample buffer of money and such. They don't have the habit of scraping through by the skin of one's teeth. Its wonderful what happens when people from such diverse backgrounds come together in a team. This is where you see that 1 and 1 actually is greater than 3 ...the wonderful manifestation of humanity and that divine phrase Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam ...the world is one family. When these different family members come together, world does indeed become a better place...

It's time that humanity accepts its universal nature and that its the same in Carribbean to Europe to India to Japan! We are the same ... no use fighting and trying one-upmanship ... also, there is a strong reason that we in India should try to get our growth rates down and let our kin enjoy similar affluence and resource-abundance of some other places in world. I would say the aim should be at least Europe, if not Australia!

Perspectives differ because of where you come from and how you have been brought up ... they matter in the end to making this earth more 'liveable' ..... hugely... don't they??

Strange happenings in a sane town!

What is happening to my favourite part of world!?!

Of all the places, Dombivli should arrange a (of all the things!) a dog marriage! Strange things are happening and stranger things are being planned ..

Rotary club should arrange this is another jolt ..

Am I dreaming or this news is for true?

Can't being myself to imagine even this can happen in Dombivli!! Used to be called the second cultural capital of Maharashtra and now this ... used to be a sane town of practical people ... what in the world has happened here? Why is it going to dogs .. literally! .. phew!

LSDDDDD......

My my ... Sneha Khanwalkar & Dibakar Banerjee... take a bow!!

I cannnnnnn't hold it any longerrrrrrrrrrrrrr ......

For those who have not been listening to alternative music ... alternative means anything not dished by Yashraj and the likes ... there is a definite silent revolution in the music ... from Gulaal, to DevD to OLLO to Road, Movie and now LSDDDD.... what an albummm ...as you can see I am still hallucinatinggg ... and I listened songs something like 2 days agoo ...... is it a real LSD or what ...

Kailash Kher is absurdly talented and you need to listen to his renditions not just in this one but also Road .. It is fair to say that in the times that we are in, there are hardly one or two others who will come close to what Kailash Kher can make you feel with his renditions. Listen to his Nam batati tu and well .. there is little more I am in a position to say right now ..

Go... Get your dope ASAP .... and gooo 'EFF OO' ;)

Unthinkable agreement ..

I am in unthinkable agreement for the first time in my life about the personal views aired by a certain Rakhi Sawant...

This momentous and an epoch making event happened because for the first time, I feel her derring-do and devil-may-care attitude is taking on the censors and that too in a factually correct manner!

Socha na tha doston ke aisa bhi din ayega :P ... GOD IS GREAT INDEED ...

Cheers Rakhi! After Rao's bhookh hadtal, only your's seems justifiable!!

Are we trapped?

Just thinking loudly here... so readers beware :P

Comparing Indian and western households, I believe that the notion that we still live according to how our ancestors lived looks hollow. We pride ourselves that we are really still living as a family, we care for fellow humans (which is something incredible!) and that in general, we have a culture that is so far above the rest of the world.

Granted that the culture which we have inherited is indeed more pious, far more credible a force in itself and also, appreciably more humane than any other in the world. It genuinely has the strength of keeping an entire populace honest in general and true to the spirit of humanity.

But, I cannot help but think that today's trappings of entertainers and sensationalisers (read saas bahu sagas and aaj tak and its ilk) have incapacitated us. We spend most part of the day at work, office, schools and colleges. If you play a sport (which is a rarity in our times and alarmingly, that is an increasing trend) then you might give an hour to it. Most food today is microwaveable. And hence, as an effect, an average Indian spends at a minimum 3 hours a day in front of the idiot box - in complete grasp of the modern day David Copperfiled. And this modern David Copperfield has as its allies, the terrorists, the politicians and the paid protestors - all pretty efficient and professional at their duties to entertain and maintaining the daily fix that the remote controlling consumer of this daily saga needs...

We are in front of the TV so much time that we dine in front of it, hence mostly we don't appreciate what we are eating. We also do not appreciate who we are eating with. We have no time to take a stroll after dinner. We also do not care about some simple hobbies like gardening or socialising with friends just because we need our daily dose of entertainment. Its like a drug - a nasha! Everyone just needs their daily fix ... One cannot imagine what will happen God forbid if this is not dished out on a day or if there is no electricity or worse still the cable television goes off air... I also heard that the last time this happened, the issue was discussed in the Parliament .. no joke ..

Since we need this, we have no time to think out of box or in it. We don't have time to appreciate the degradation of society and mother nature around us. We see the Aarey Milk colony's greenery on TV and its serials, and feel like wow, my Mumbai is soo green.. We don't think that India - our country - needs a better government or better roads or better public transportation or even safety. We are living so opulent lives because the serials and its characters are grand, grander, grandest!!! We may have suffered terrorist attacks, and may have lit candles. It was just our chance of taking part as active entertainers for a change. Thats it. We forgot and went back to the TV sets to appreciate our very own act ...

Even if someone wants to do something, as Rocket Singh will say there are no people to do business or something hatke with, as most are in front of their TV sets. And any activity needs people and not numbers...

Compare this to the western world (I mean Europe where there is a 'culture' not the extreme west whose culture cannot be compared to either Europe or the subcontinent) and I find people still have time to appreicate the gardens and its fountains. They still take time out to go for a walk, jog or theater. They discuss paintings and actively indulge in art activities. They may know what goes on in a TV but not so many discuss it in offices, schools and colleges! There is no public outrage if a character dies or worse still if an actor leaves a serial ... that is NOT national news!! They still maintain personal small gardens and spend weekend evenings also at a coffee shop actively talking with their friends and partners... They know their surroundings.

I am not sure if a newly settled man say in Navi Mumbai will know who lives two floors above or below him or which building for that matter is right next to his... We might not know that there is a big garden nearby or that since not so many visit it, it's being used as a concrete dump by local builder mafia. We have no time to care for it! Who cares if that builder is disturbing the area near my building!? I am fine till he is not dumping it in my living room. Rest may go to hell!!!

Just this question then remains about our existence ... Are we trapped?

Political wastage!

Our state's politicians have gone crazy as they normally do - this time with their illegitimate censorship of free expression (by the way, this is a fundamental right of an Indian citizen guaranteed by the Indian Constitution of which these very politicians are the guardians... really?!!). All because WE have allowed goondas to come to power. We allowed them to legitimately claim their illegitimate right to be where they are. So, we must suffer for our transgressions!

We will be held guilty (for our own rights assertion!) before their illegitimate courts and justice will be dispensed as per their will. You and I - the normal and average common man and woman - will be submitting to them as always since we are incredibly guilty of either being corrupt ourselves (selling our dignity to these very hooligans) or then we are incredibly careless about our lives or then we are incredibly indifferent to our state of living!

We get the government we deserve. We cannot blame our governors for being corrupt when we have sold ourselves - our soul and importantly, our votes! We cannot accuse of nepotism because we voted for it! We cannot accuse of non-constitution-adherence as we have allowed these illegitimates to get elected. Now, they will rule us. And they are ruling. Even when they are not elected, they will rule with their own takes on what is allowed/decent/moral through their very 'able' sons and daughters! And then there are those wannabes who will disrupt your fundamental rights because they have offered us an illegitimate share in their corrupt plunder by division of society according to more and more importantly unimportant castes .... (sic).

We have only us to blame. We are corrupt. We are silent. We are a bane to the word 'civilisation' and a shame to that revered word 'Aryan'! We are not civilised. That's a myth. We are not educated. That's a WHITE LIE. And NO we are NOT MORAL by any standards .....

I wish Gandhi, Gautam, Shivaji, Ranjit Singh and Thorla Bajirao were not born here. They would and should have had more proud inheritors of their legacy ... alas!

Aal izz well?

Needless to say where the title is coming from. Saw it two days back. And again seeing it now ...

As Forrest Gump would have said it... 'It (shit) happens!' ...

Needless to say I loved the movie!

Needless to say ....

But then, I should not write this isn't it? If it's so needless I mean ... I should not be writing! But then there is something ...

Nothing 'new' exists in the movie in terms of the fundas of life that the movie has espoused. What it has is electrifying chemistry between the three stars, their comic timing, etc. But then, when you have such fine actors putting up a performance, that should ideally be a given!

And yes, it has guided us to some mirage whose existence we all have known about but could not attain. That's why it's a mirage right? We can see it, yet we cannot get to it! We all know how well we can perform when we don't care of the consequences!

This happened with me when I was pretty young. I was playing within my building's compound. Normally, the occupants at ground floor would have broken loose on us when we broke their toilet's window panes. But, I knew that they weren't home (had been visiting their relatives or some place!) and hence, I did not check my pull shot and played a full-blooded one right at the center of the window panes. Interestingly, I was wondering some days before that if I could break 4 panes in one shot (generally we used to break one and that too the top one ... so I was wondering if its possible to break the center four and make a gaping hole for the audience ;) ... !). To my ghastly surprise, I had accomplished what I was thinking about.

I wanted to die then ... but I could calm myself reminding myself that I was anyways leaving for my vacations the next day and won't be back so soon... so I fooled my heart into believing that aal izz well and that's when I had an aha moment while watching the movie. Unlike the movie though, that particular family welcomed me from vacations in a way that saw me never playing inside the building compound thenceforth, but that's another unimportant story!

I am writing this post especially because one of my closest and only 'writing' pal told me that she would have done so much more in life if she was in my shoes (but importantly this is not a response to her retort! It's merely a reflection..). I was just watching the movie and was thinking, well, I don't want to be on the hospital bed at 60 years to think only if I had done this and not done that .. So, I told myself, I will make an effort to get out of present inertia ... and also importantly, I will try to live in the moment. I tend to (as I am sure others too) live in future ... I will be this and be that .. will be here and there and everywhere... but forget to think about where I am NOW! It's common sense isn't it ... but I guess that's why it is so tough ...

I know that fooling your heart into disbelieving the risks attached as a package deal is not a very smart way of living ... especially for those who have studied mitigating risks (I know the cool word is hedging!) this sort of behaviour can amount to harakiri ... but I am convinced that in a world where only fools are cocksure and the knowledgeable full of doubts, it's sometimes worth it to be a stupid idiot and commit that foolishness than to be mired in doubts and not try! Hopefully, the experience won't hurt so much.. and in any case, one is wiser always in hindsight :P ...

I guess I can try soothing my heart for some time with Aal izz well .....